05 May 2012

[saturday morning with annie] | above.beyond

and just then, 
a strange wind pried open her bedroom window
and she suddenly had an uncontrollable urge
to spin and howl, to  jump on her freshly made bed
with her eyes shut tight.
{m. duval #170}

there will come a day, i know this to be true. when she will no longer want to climb into my bed to cuddle and be comforted from a bump on her head or a scary dream. instead, she'll speak to me through a closed door, too busy in her own world to enter mine. i worry about this too often. if i could only push time back, block it from entering our sweet little world we have created. i'd kindly ask it to move slower. i am remembering cuddling my newborn babe as she slept so sweetly in my arms. wrapped in the warmth of her blanket i am listening to her breathe, in and out, in and out. her brows would furrow ever so slightly - a baby dream. i can't believe those moments are gone. there are days i barely remember her as a baby. it's as if she was always a 6 year old. a lovely delightful beautiful 6 year old. this weekend, she is longing for her second tooth to drop out of her mouth. it wiggles as she constantly touches it with her tongue and then her finger. a right of passage i suppose. i'm still recovering from the loss of her first baby tooth. typical sentimental me. she woke up next to me this morning. i told her last night it was okay for her to "start" out in our bed. i admit, i didn't want to move her into her own bed last night. i loved the warmth of her body next to mine,  even as she kicked me in her sleep. i listened to her breathe, in and out, in and out. i woke up this morning to the smell of coffee brewing, thank you bil. i turned my head and there she was, smiling at me. could a day start any more perfect than this. she leaps out of bed with so much energy. if she could bottle that energy and sell it, college would be paid for. as i sip my coffee she asks me if she could jump on our bed. i love her world. pure and good. i love this little girl. my heart explodes on a daily basis. watching her when she is unaware of me, i see the kindness that is in her heart. she treats her little baby dolls so sweetly, softly speaking to each of them and kissing them on their foreheads. i can only hope that this is learned behavior. i worry that i am not doing a good job of raising her. bil is a tremendous father to our little girl. i hope i am a tremendous mother to her too. being her mom is the most important job i could ever have. she is a good teacher to me. my life is very precious these days. the laughter that is heard in our home makes it all worth while. she is happiness and love and joy and frustration and warmth and comfort and patience and life, all wrapped up in one amazing human. i carry such a torch for her. xoxo 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

She is getting so tall and grow up! Enjoy every moment...it Goes by so very fast! And please keep the pictures coming! Maureen